brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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