you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
