I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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