i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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