can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
