And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
