So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
