Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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