Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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