Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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