Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
