Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
