Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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