ugly people sure do ruin things
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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