You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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