all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Every concussion has its silver lining
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
