how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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