Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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