What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
