My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I am naked and annoyed.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
