this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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