Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
