just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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