1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
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Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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