do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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