I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
