If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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