He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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