ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
