Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
