that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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