we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
