these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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