Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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