i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
