Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
