I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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