Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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