She is in my trunk
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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