just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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