i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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