your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
