I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
