Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
