so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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