We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
