But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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