i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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