I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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