hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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