I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Pants are for mortals
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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