today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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