11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
