I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
