sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
