so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
