this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I could fuck to npr.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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