I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
