Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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