you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
