thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
