I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
