definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
