there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My vagina just clenched in fear
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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