The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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