i would punch a child for taco bell
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
