I hope mine doesn't look like that
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
