I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Slut skills are useful in every country.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
