i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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