Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize