I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
